


Cronkri's Unusual Journey [BETA]

by redoubtableEagle (emeraldEagle)



Category: Homestuck, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, Beforus (Homestuck), Beforus Ancestors, Crossover, Dio's Troll name is Dionte, F/M, Fan Stands, Headcanon, Illustrated, M/M, Please excuse the poor artwork, plenty of ocs - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-01-06 15:44:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18391424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldEagle/pseuds/redoubtableEagle
Summary: On a Beforus somewhere in the vast multiverse, Cronus Ampora and Kankri Vantas live normal lives in a suburb several hours away from the city of Stonrolin.  Latula Pyrope and Mituna Captor live in the city itself, constantly trying to survive the frequent disasters that have been hitting it as of late.  Rufioh Nitram, Horuss Zahhak, and an adult Tavros called "The Revolver" live weeks away in an isolated monastery learning the ways of the Spin, with Damara Megido showing up one day with a message from an adult Karkat called "The Strident".The eight trolls quickly find themselves dragged headfirst into the world of Stand users and the machinations of Dionte Brando, a jade-blood politician rapidly rising the political ladder in Stonrolin.  With Stand users coming out of the woodwork and Brando's enemies being "dealt with" by a mysterious associate, can our heroes uncover his plot and put a stop to it before it's too late?Find out in "Cronkri's Unusual Journey"!





	Cronkri's Unusual Journey [BETA]

**Author's Note:**

> As of 12/24/2019, this fic is officially designated as a Beta. Basically, from now on I'm looking at it as a test run of it's concept. I went into making this without fully preparing and got overwhelmed, which is why there is only one chapter even after so many months. At some point in 2020 I'll make the real version of the fic, learning from the mistakes I made in making this. Sorry to disappoint, but this is the way things need to be if the story is going to actually go anywhere.
> 
> So stay tuned, because Cronus and Kankri will return next year, in a better fic!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance for the lackluster artwork, I was in a rush and I'm not very good at this yet.
> 
> Also, credit to Farrago Fiction's DollSim for the background characters.  
> You can find DollSim and many others here: http://farragofiction.com/
> 
> Also also, another fic of mine called "Stands and/or Classpects of Various Characters Across Various Franchises" may contain spoilers for this story, so tread carefully there.

A teenage troll stands on a sidewalk.  The moon has risen on a beautiful summer night, and this guy, for one, cannot wait to get going.

What is this troll's name?

Nah, you're just kidding.  You already know your own name, who wouldn't?

Your name is **Cronus Ampora**.  You are an 8-sweep old violet-blood living the life in a cozy suburb with your best friend **Kankri Vantas**.  Okay, you don't actually live _with_ the guy ~~much as you'd like to~~ but you do live in the same town as he does, so it counts.  You have a variety of interests, chief among them being **outrageously cool at all times**.  It should be a cullable offense to be as cool as you.  To be specific, you are what is generally referred to as a **greaser** , the kind of cool guy who puts ~~frankly ridiculous amounts of~~ gel in his hair to style it in fantastical ways, the kind of awesome dude who intentionally tears up his clothes to get that "no-good punk" look _just_ right, the kind of fabulous fella' who takes no shit from nobody and talks like they don't give a damn about what _anybody_ thinks, and the kind of rebellious bro who, just for those extra cool points, puts a cigarette in their mouth and doesn't light it.

Actually, that last one is more your own addition to the cool guy getup, but it still counts.  Besides, you never understood why people think smoking is cool.  Doesn't it just damage your lungs and make it harder to breath?  Eh, it doesn't really matter that much.  Anyway, as for your other interests, you've always had a fascination with **magic** and **wizards**.  You have a scar above your right eye that, when you were younger, you used to claim was given to you by an **evil sorcerer** who tried to kill you but failed, and that it represents your destiny to kill that sorcerer one day in a **climactic showdown**.  You don't believe that anymore, given that the scar is actually a birthmark which, by definition, you were born with, but you still occasionally try to cast some spells you made up for the hell of it.  They never work though.

Other odd assorted hobbies of yours include **music, hitting on just about every attractive person you see, and naval warfare.**   That last one you don't share with a lot of people, given the **peaceful nature of Beforus** , but it fascinates you nonetheless, and you hope to one day **captain a vessel of your own.**

Your trolltag is captainAstrologer [CA] and you type wvith an accent wvhich you definitely don't actually havwe.

**> Cronus: What were you about to do?**

You were in the middle of walking to Kankri's hive.  It's not far from here, and you hope to get there before he wanders off to some park where you can't find him.  Let's just say he gets... easily offended when you leave him alone too long.

**> Cronus: Proceed to intersection up ahead.**

**== >**

You do that.

**> Cronus: Locate Kankri's hive.**

You quickly survey the direction of Kankri's hive, and-

Oh geez, looks like he's already out and about.  Not only that, but it looks like some poor sap is currently being subjected to one of his **lectures**.  You should probably put a stop to this before the poor fellow loses their mind from boredom.

**> Cronus: Approach.**

KANKRI: ...which is why I take issue with y9ur ceaseless 6ragging.  
KANKRI: Hacking abilities 9f y9ur alleged cali6er are unc9mm9n, s9 to flaunt them ar9und like y9u d9 is incredibly a6leist and-  
??????: oh my god, dude, youve been call|ng me "able|st" for th|s ent|re fuck|ng lecture  
??????: do you even know what |t actually means??  
KANKRI: 9f c9urse I d9.  
KANKRI: A6leism is when a pers9n 9f perceived *lesser* skill is denied s9meh9w in fav9r 9f s9me9ne 9f supp9sed *greater* skill-  
CRONUS: *COUGH*

**== >**

CRONUS: sorry to interrupt your chat, but-  
KANKRI: Cr9nus, n9w really isn't a g99d time f9r y9ur antics.  
KANKRI: Can whatever y9u have in mind wait until I'm finished with this lecture?  
KANKRI: It is very imp9rtant that I educate th9se 9f higher-  
CRONUS: higher privwilege on bein sensitivwe to others lowver than them, i knowv, Kan  
KANKRI: N9 y9u d9n't! I may well have 6een referring t9 s9mething entirely different!  
KANKRI: It is highly 9ffensive t9 assume things ab9ut pe9ple and what they're trying t9 say, as I've tried t9 explain t9 y9u many times 6ef9re!  
CRONUS: but it *wvas* what you wvere tryin to say, right?  
KANKRI: Well, yes, but-  
??????: oh my fuck|ng god SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!!  
KANKRI: Ms. Ill9eh, it is extremely rude t9 interrupt s9me9ne when they are speaking t9 s9me9ne else, y9u kn9w.  
KANKRI: H9ld 9n. Y9u *d9* identify as female, c9rrect, P9zzeq? I ap9l9gize if I have misgendered y9u, I sh9uld have kn9wn 6etter than t9 assume-  
POZZEQ: yes, yes YES, oh my god do you never shut up??  
CRONUS: ah, hes not that bad wvhen you get to knowv em!  
CRONUS: i mean, hell still talk your ear off but tunin em out aint that hard-  
POZZEQ: you know what  
POZZEQ: fuck th|s  
POZZEQ: fuck you  
POZZEQ: and fuck you too  
CRONUS: hey nowv, wvhatever did I do to incur the wvrath of a beautiful broad like you?  
POZZEQ: my po|nt exactly  
POZZEQ: | hope your h|ve burns down |n the m|ddle of the day!!  
KANKRI: That is a highly unlikely p9ssibility, Cr9nus's hive is l9cated alm9st entirely underwater.  
POZZEQ: no  
POZZEQ: fuck you  
POZZEQ: | dont have to waste my t|me deal|ng w|th your sh|t

**> Pozzeq: Leave**

You cannot issue commands to **Pozzeq Illoeh** as you cannot be Pozzeq Illoeh, however she was leaving anyway so she does that.

**> Cronus & Kankri: Chat**

KANKRI: W9nderful. C9ngratulati9ns Cr9nus, y9u have 9nce again scared 9ff 9ne 9f my students 6ef9re I c9uld finish my lecture.  
KANKRI: What d9 y9u have t9 say f9r y9urself?  
CRONUS: dont swveat it, Kan  
CRONUS: you knowv she wvouldntve actually learned anythin  
CRONUS: broads like her are too stubborn to listen to your *wise words* chief!  
KANKRI: *sigh*  
KANKRI: What have I said 6ef9re ab9ut this sarcastic pandering y9u always d9?  
KANKRI: As y9u kn9w, talking d9wn t9 th9se l9wer 9n the hem9spectrum than y9urself 9nly serves t9 perpetuate the systemic 9ppressi9n 9f l9wer-6l99ded pe9ples the w9rld 9ver.  
KANKRI: As an individual b9rn int9 the upper classes 9f s9ciety, it is y9ur resp9nsi6ility t9 keep y9ur high6l99d privilege in check.  
KANKRI: Alth9ugh the eff9rt t9 c9m6at systemic 9ppressi9n may seem fruitless 6y 9neself, even just 9ne pers9n can make a difference 6y setting an example f9r all t9 f9ll9w.  
KANKRI: Are y9u getting this s9 far?  
CRONUS: hm?  
CRONUS: oh, yeah, definitely, no wvorries chief, I hear ya!  
KANKRI: That w9uld 6e a *n9* then.  
KANKRI: Very well, I will start 9ver f9r y9ur c9nvenience. The night is still y9ung, after all.  
CRONUS: actually Kan, i think thats just it  
CRONUS: i just wvoke up not too long ago, im tired  
CRONUS: hows about wve go for a wvalk so i can get energized? maybe get a bite to eat wvhile wvere at it, too  
KANKRI: Hm...  
KANKRI: Very well, that s9unds like an accepta6le c9urse 9f acti9n.  
KANKRI: Where d9 y9u pr9p9se we g9?

** >Cronus: Consider your options **

You have three options, as these are the only ones within walking distance.

The first option is Paradise City, a restaurant known mostly for its kinda sleazy atmosphere, but the food is unlike anything else in town.  North Beforan, you think it was.  Good stuff, real good.  Kankri probably wouldn't like being there though, and to be honest the kind of crowd it draws in doesn't really appeal to you either.

The second option is Jumpin' Jack Flash's Pizza, a lowblood-run pizzeria with be best fucking pizza on the continent, and you will fight to the death anyone who says otherwise.  It has a much more hospitable atmosphere than Paradise City, but the food takes forever to make.  Normally you'd be fine with that, but you're running on empty right now and would prefer to get a meal sooner rather than later.

The third and final option is Starbucks.  Not many know this, but Starbucks is a universal constant.  Not that you yourself are aware of this fact, but we're getting sidetracked.  Unfortunately, Starbucks is in the same direction Pozzeq is currently headed, and you'd rather not run into her again while you have Kankri in tow.

Those are your options.  Which will you go to?

**> Jumpin' Jack Flash's Pizza is our best bet**

Sounds like a plan.  There at least you will have the least chance of Kankri getting offended by something, and the least chance of running into Pozzeq.  Besides, your stomach can handle waiting a little longer for sustenance.

**> Cronus & Kankri: Proceed to Jumpin' Jack Flash's Pizza**

**== >**

**== >**

You do that.

**> Cronus & Kankri: Enter the pizzeria**

You are now in Jumpin' Jack Flash's Pizza.  It appears that today is a slow business day, so thankfully you won't have to contend with any lines.  You're not sure you could handle _that_ much waiting.

**> Cronus & Kankri: Decide what to get  
**

CRONUS: alrighty then Kan  
CRONUS: wvhat do ya wvant to havwe?  
KANKRI: Well, unlike s9me pe9ple, I actually had 6reakfast 6ef9re leaving my hive, s9 I'll just have a small salad.

Kankri doesn't specify what kind of salad he wants.  This is because he knows that you already know what kind he always gets here.  He gets so angry when you don't get him the salad he wants, it's just so adorable.  And a bit bloodthirsty, too.  Adorabloodthirsty?  Eh, it'll never catch on.  Anyway, you contemplate purchasing the wrong salad intentionally just to rile him up a little, but you are not currently in the right state of mind or body to put up with that just yet.  For now, you'll just get him what he wants.

**> Cronus: Order food**

CASHIER: Wellcome to Jumpin' Jack Fllash's Pizza, how may I hellp you?  
CRONUS: yeah, can i get a small outglut salad  
CRONUS: no meat, please  
CRONUS: three slices of meatlovwers, extra anchovwies  
CRONUS: and two medium sodas  
CASHIER: Mm hmm. Willll that be allll, sir?  
CRONUS: thats all, yeah  
CASHIER: Allright then, that'llll be... 78 caegars, please.

**> Cronus: Pay**

You do that.

CASHIER: Okay, your order number is 1519, should be ready in about 20 minutes.  
CASHIER: Thank you for your patronage!  
CRONUS: yeah yeah, no problem.  
KANKRI: N9w n9w Cr9nus, there's n9 need t9 be rude t9 this-  
CRONUS: aaaand hey wvould ya look at that  
CRONUS a table just opened up  
CRONUS: cmon Kan lets nab it before it gets taken again

**> Cronus: Take a seat**

You grab Kankri by his outrageously tacky turtleneck sweater and haul ass to the newly-opened table before he can start lecturing in front of that poor cashier.

**> Cronus & Kankri: Pass the time**

KANKRI: Pard9n my curi9sity, Cr9nus, 6ut...  
KANKRI: Are y9u 9kay?  
CRONUS: eh?  
CRONUS: wvhat makes ya say that, Kan?  
KANKRI: N9t t9 6e rude, 6ut y9u just seem t9 6e 69thered 6y s9mething.  
KANKRI: Y9u're n9t as talkative as y9u usually are.  
KANKRI: F9r example, I kn9w f9r a fact that y9u w9uld've, shall we say, "put the m9ves" 9n Ms. Ill9eh much m9re than y9u did had s9mething n9t 6een 9n y9ur mind at the time.  
KANKRI: And just n9w with the cashier, y9u c9mpletely failed t9 "put the m9ves" 9n her, even th9ugh y9u n9rmally w9uld never miss a chance t9 d9 s9 with a pers9n as attractive as her.  
CRONUS: a-  
KANKRI: D9n't. That did n9t mean what y9u think it meant.  
CRONUS: ...  
KANKRI: As I was saying, while I w9uld n9rmally 6e pr9ud 9f y9u f9r c9ntr9lling y9ur urges like that, y9u just seemed rather 9ffput 6y s9mething at the time.  
KANKRI: And that s9mething wasn't sleep deprivati9n 9r hunger, I've seen y9u under the effects 9f 69th 9f th9se things with9ut missing a chance t9 flirt with c9mplete strangers 6ef9re.  
KANKRI: N9t t9 dip int9 pale territ9ry, 6ut I'm w9rried a69ut y9u, Cr9nus.  
CRONUS: ...  
CRONUS: i once told ya about an old friend of mine, Mituna Captor  
CRONUS: remember him?  
KANKRI: Yes, I d9 6elieve I d9.  
KANKRI: Y9u and he used t9 6e neigh69rs 6ef9re I m9ved int9 t9wn.  
KANKRI: If I recall, he suffered severe 6rain damage in a fight with a gang 9f high6l99ds, and had t9 m9ve t9 St9nr9lin f9r treatment 6ecause his lusus was killed in the tragedy.  
KANKRI: I ap9l9gize if this is triggering f9r y9u, 6ut-  
CRONUS: no no, its alright, dont wvorry  
CRONUS: hes in good hands nowv, livwin wvith a cute broad named Latula Pyrope  
CRONUS: coolest gal i evwer had the pleasure a chattin with, damn good at takin care of ol Tuna  
CRONUS: im just  
CRONUS: wvorried about em lately  
KANKRI: Pard9n my interrupti9n, 6ut are y9u referring t9 the...  
KANKRI: ...incidents, f9r lack 9f a 6etter term, that have 6een happening there as 9f late?  
CRONUS: yeah, those  
CRONUS: that shit aint normal, Kan  
CRONUS: i mean less normal than stuff like gas leaks or bank robberies  
CRONUS: fucks sake, you sawv wvhat happened to that skyscraper yesterday, didn't you?  
CRONUS: skyscrapers dont fuckin twvist like that  
CRONUS: or at all  
CRONUS: especially not that fast or in plain vwiewv a evweryone in the city  
CRONUS: im just  
CRONUS: wvhat if shit like that happens to the buildin that Tuna and Pyrope livwe in?  
CRONUS: wvhile their fuckin in it?  
KANKRI: C-  
CRONUS: dont you fuckin dare Kan  
CRONUS: you knowv i didnt mean it like that  
KANKRI: ...  
KANKRI: I wasn't g9ing t9 sc9ld y9u f9r anything, I kn9w what y9ur intended meaning was.  
KANKRI: I was merely-  
WAITER: Ex5use me, sirs?

**> Cronus & Kankri: Recieve food**

WAITER: Your order is 1519, 5orre5t?  
CRONUS: yeah it is, somethin up chief?  
WAITER: No no, nothing is wrong.  
WAITER: Your food is ready.  
KANKRI: It is?  
KANKRI: N9t t9 6e rude, 6ut 20 minutes have n9t elapsed since we 9rdered.  
KANKRI: In fact, I'm fairly certain that it hasn't even 6een 5 minutes yet.  
WAITER: The person whose seat you took ordered the same thing as you, 5oin5identally enough.  
WAITER: Given that they have left-  
WAITER: -without paying I might add-  
WAITER: -you are now entitled to their food, seeing as how it is what you ordered to begin with.  
CRONUS: wvell hot damn, thats a coddamn coi-  
CRONUS: G8Ddamn, sorry  
CRONUS: thats a goddamn coinky-dink, aint it Kan?  
KANKRI: Yes, I supp9se it is-  
KANKRI: *I'm s9rry but what the bloody hell did y9u just say*  
WAITER: Um, yeah, I'll just leave this here, have a nice meal, you two.

**> Waiter: Abscond**

You cannot issue commands to the waiter as you cannot be the waiter, but they were leaving anyway so they do that.

**> Cronus & Kankri: Eat**

CRONUS: alright, food!  
CRONUS: im fuckin starvwin!  
KANKRI: H9ld 9n just a m9ment, we can't just gl9ss 9ver that a69minati9n 9f a.. *phrase* y9u just used-  
CRONUS: cant talk Kan, gotta eat

**== >**

**> Kankri: Introduce yourself**

Hm?  Oh yes, you haven't been formally introduced yet, have you?  I suppose we can take a moment to remedy this, seeing as how Cronus is currently preoccupied.

Your name is **Kankri Vantas**.  You are an 8-sweep old mutant-blood living an idyllic life in a suburb the name of which you can never seem to recall.  You have a variety of interests, chief among them being **vigilant to any and all offensive actions and material at all times**.  As well-meaning as Beforan society may be, it is structured in such a way that those **low on the hemospectrum** such as yourself are constantly **coddled and held back** by highbloods who believe that lowbloods **cannot fend for themselves** and must be **protected at all costs**.  Although you are hardly the first person to express sentiments like this, you believe that most people subconsciously choose to ignore the **systemic oppression** happening around them, and as such you have taken it upon yourself to **educate** as many people as you can about the nuances of such topics as **highblood privilege, the hemoarchy,** and **minority rights**.  Of course, subjects such as these can be quite **triggering** to many people for countless reasons, so you also keep a **list of possible triggers** on your **Chittr blog** , updating it as you learn about more triggers.  Your blog also serves as a platform for sending your many **lectures** out into the wider world, so that more may read them.  For your actions, many of your detractors have dubbed you a **social justice warrior** , however you prefer the term **moral guardian** , as it represents your goal in life with a much less violent connotation than the former moniker.

You have also taken a **vow of celibacy** , in order to keep your focus on your ultimate goal.  The **quadrants** are a fickle matter, and dealing with them would mean wasting time which could be used for bettering Beforus and its people.  Your friend **Cronus Ampora** , despite knowing about this vow, constantly flirts with you regardless, although you can never tell if he's trying to get into your flushed quadrant or pitch quadrant.  You just know that he _is_ interested in you in a way that you cannot feel about him.  His rudeness doesn't help his case either.

Other assorted interests of yours include **writing** , which you developed rather quickly after devoting your life to social justice, **debating** , although most people you debate with tend to fall silent after a while of you talking for some reason, and **firearms**.  You don't share that last one with most people, but you do consider yourself something of a **firearm aficionado** and have a sizable collection safely stored in a **large** **vault underneath your hive**.  You know just about everything there is to know about firearms, from how to maintain and safely handle each one you own to the different types of ammunition, and you even know how to **build a makeshift firearm yourself** in an emergency.

Your trolltag is cavalierGuardian [CG] and you type with the tw9 halves of y9ur sign, made-up as it may 6e.

**> Kankri: Eat your food**

 Yes, you should get around to doing that.  Cronus has already downed one of his pizza slices, so you need to hurry if you want to finish eating at the same time he does.  It's rude to keep other people waiting, after all.

**> Skip to the end of the meal, We don't need to see them eating**

Through the power of the narrative, you skip the entire meal and go directly to after our two protagonists have exited the restaurant.  That was quite filling for both parties, and you are now ready to continue with your day.

**> Cronus & Kankri: Go down the street**

You do that.

**> Cronus & Kankri: Walk to that alley over there**

Uh, okay?  You are now in front of the alley for some reason.

**> Cronus & Kankri: Enter the inconspicuous alley**

CRONUS: ...  
KANKRI: Um...  
KANKRI: Cr9nus?  
KANKRI: Are y9u alright?  
CRONUS: ...  
CRONUS: wvha-  
CRONUS: wvha thefregegblegebah?  
KANKRI: I-  
KANKRI: What?  
CRONUS: ah, sorry Kan  
CRONUS: i dunno wvhat came ovwer me there  
CRONUS: felt like i wvas on autopilot or somefin  
CRONUS: some*THIN*  
KANKRI: Yes, y9u did seem t9 6e rather... disc9nnected f9r a minute there.  
KANKRI: N9 9ffense intended, 9f c9urse.  
CRONUS: of course, yeah, dont wvorry  
CRONUS: anywvay this place is givin me the creeps, lets blowv this joint Kan  
??????: hold on there boys  
??????: leav|ng so soon??

**> Cronus & Kankri: Be ambushed**

Oh geez, it's that girl from earlier that Kankri was lecturing.  Pozzeq, you think her name was?  Never mind that, you need to get out of here and away from her as fast as you can, for the sake of her sanity and Kankri's general well-being.  You're not sure what would happen if he tried to lecture her again, and to be quite frank you _really_ don't want to know.

**> Cronus: Prepare to abscond**

You walk towards Pozzeq, hoping to politely ask her to step out of the way for you.

CRONUS: hey nowv swveetheart, no need to get feisty here  
CRONUS: wvhy dont ya just step out a the way so we can go-

**== >**

CRONUS: *oof*  
CRONUS: the fuck?  
KANKRI: What the dickens?

**== >**

What the hell?  Why is there a giant floating capital letter A in front of you?  And where the hell did it come from?  It wasn't here just a second ago!

CRONUS: wvhat the actual fuck?  
CRONUS: this some kinda psionic trick?  
CRONUS: aint any kinda psionics ivwe evwer seen before though  
POZZEQ: ps|on|cs?  
POZZEQ: no  
POZZEQ: th|s |s someth|ng even better than my ps|on|cs

**== >**

POZZEQ: th|s |s my one and only [BACK CHAT]

**> END OF CHAPTER 1**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STAND NAME: [BACK CHAT]
> 
> STAND USER: Pozzeq Illoeh
> 
> STAND STATS  
> Destructive Power: C  
> Speed: D  
> Range: D  
> Durability: C  
> Precision: B  
> Developmental Potential: D
> 
> STAND ABILITY: Can spawn large alphabetical letters when the corresponding key is pressed, and can manipulate them within 5 meters of the user.


End file.
